Weblog 16
March 5, 2006~ 2:00am
Slept 14 hours Friday night through Saturday afternoon- like a newborn- and awakened groggy, but terrifically rested. God, it felt good, lumpy mattress and all. Once I was out, I could have been sleeping on nails, I don't think it would have disturbed me in the least.
I am currently watching with great interest the various machinations of a young lady who shall remain nameless (but initials are JVB...lol) attempting to attach herself as closely as possible to someone she perceives to be one of the 'great ones'. Here are the signs:
mentioning him at every turn while writing poetry geared to show how close their close relationship's become by sharing intimate details of his daily life, copying his style or choosing subject matter that is sure to please him- and in general, just busting at the seams to let the world know she's his current protege'.
I've been where she is now in that role of 'latest find' but never used it to full capacity as she is doing in her perfect response by following his lead, taking his advice slavishly to heart, submitting where he recommends and allowing him to introduce her around as a young poet to be reckoned with, but most important I think, is her willingness to be properly dazzled by his constantly pandered personal history. These are maneuverings quite predictable and obvious, and no doubt we've all seen similar patterns in school, in the office-- in many mentor/student parterships. Though I've never followed that route myself, I've been in that carved out supportive role, with its marked feeling of having been chosen as handmaid-- and I can truthfully say, in the words of dearly departed Warren Zevon: "it ain't that pretty at all."
LOL. Good luck, kid. You're gonna need it.
March 5, 2006~ 7:00pm
It's Academy Awards night-- and I couldn't care less. First time in my life I'm not the least bit curious to watch. I care nothing for the films this time around. "Broke Back Mountain" sounds hokey and contrived to me, and I have to admit that the idea of two cowboys hankering after one another, tortured by their great love fills me with an icky sense of 'nevermind. don't wanna know about it.' Homosexuality per se doesn't bother me, but throw in the cowboy stuff and it's just waaay too over the top. Sounds like thick syrup run through an old dusty boot- treacly, and-- well-- "dumb". There. I've said it- I ain't hip or enlightened, and I prefer old John Wayne movies with Rooster Cogburn with his scowl and growl, and like my light-loafered cowpokes singing with The Village People, not in smarmy, melodramatic love scenes, but hey, that's just me.
So I'm going up to bed in just a while to dive into a WONDERFUL novel called 'The Historian'- a 'time-capsule-ish' book with a supernatural Dracula theme that's so fascinating to me there's no place I'd rather be this evening than buried in it. (No pun intended.) I'll leave the rest of the world to swoon over the Oscars. 'Taint what it used to be any old way, no, not at all. Hollywood bores me with all its deals and glitz and cheap lack of real substance. I'd rather read a big fat book any day of the week. Hands down.
March 6, 2006~ 6:30pm
I feel great today. Don't ask me why....the weather still as 'blah', and it IS a Monday, but by golly I feel terrific. Like the soul's been roto-rootered out and all the bad sludge is finally, finally gone. Feels like a new leaf's been turned- it's like an internal spring- that's what it feels like. Goodbye old stuff, hello new. Here's hopin' I wake up in the same frame of mind tomorrow, and the day after that- and the day after that- and what do you know, then I'll be on a WHOLE NEW yellow brick road. Throwing away these ruby slippers- don't wanna go home again. I wanna go on.....
but first.....gotta continue with "The Historian". Fabulous book. Quaint, old-style of narrative writing with lavish detail as you follow the younger version of the female protagonist all around Europe, keeping just one step ahead of vampires.....yes, indeedy. This is one book Bram Stoker would've cheered. It has his own richness and very real terror. Vlad........you're a bad, bad boy. lol --(and that's the way we like him.)
March 8, 2006~ 6:30pm
There was the one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen in my life this morning--the sky was dyed red, magenta, purple and pink-- and then the ball of gold began to come up, peeking through the trees, balanced just at a horizon line of black, and it was glorious.
All fleeting things are, and all beauty. Real beauty skips away almost at the moment it's registered on the retina, and in the heart.
How bittersweet being alive is. Today, I am aware of ticking clocks and I feel gratitude for every tick. We never know what is around the next corner-- maybe a sunrise such as I experienced this morning- that burst through the windshield at one turn of the wheel and when that happens, the ticking recedes in the ear-- and we get a heady taste of timelessness. One day, this spirit will have only that feeling--- all time that is no time at all, but one long everlasting moment. Today, I had a taste of grace.
March 9, 2006~ 4:45pm
Feels like spring today. Overcast and a bit drizzly, but there is a mild undercurrent to the breeze with temperatures hovering in the high 50's. There comes a point where you feel in your belly that spring is coming no matter what. It's feels like the end of gestation, and that despite hell or highwater, it's on its way.
I get to see the grandbabies tonight. Bill--of the fresh haircut-- has given up his desire to be Batman, and now wants only to be "Depeche Mode"- and play an "IN-stermint" like Andrew Fletcher, as he will insistently tell you. At 3 1/2, that's a precocious sort of ambition and a strange sort of yearning, but Bill has liked music from Day 1, and his baby sister Kay is more than happy to rock up on her knees, clucking her tongue and grinning to keep time. It should be a terrific evening: pizza and two half-pint entertainments.
Only one more work day.....then (Yeah!)...the weekend. Been sleeping like a top, enjoying my novel and waking rested. I think I am growing up and that the computer's fearsome hold on me is lessening after 6 years. lol.....I'm no longer a sleep-deprived addict. I'm damn near normal.
***
(Return To Weekly Archives)
Slept 14 hours Friday night through Saturday afternoon- like a newborn- and awakened groggy, but terrifically rested. God, it felt good, lumpy mattress and all. Once I was out, I could have been sleeping on nails, I don't think it would have disturbed me in the least.
I am currently watching with great interest the various machinations of a young lady who shall remain nameless (but initials are JVB...lol) attempting to attach herself as closely as possible to someone she perceives to be one of the 'great ones'. Here are the signs:
mentioning him at every turn while writing poetry geared to show how close their close relationship's become by sharing intimate details of his daily life, copying his style or choosing subject matter that is sure to please him- and in general, just busting at the seams to let the world know she's his current protege'.
I've been where she is now in that role of 'latest find' but never used it to full capacity as she is doing in her perfect response by following his lead, taking his advice slavishly to heart, submitting where he recommends and allowing him to introduce her around as a young poet to be reckoned with, but most important I think, is her willingness to be properly dazzled by his constantly pandered personal history. These are maneuverings quite predictable and obvious, and no doubt we've all seen similar patterns in school, in the office-- in many mentor/student parterships. Though I've never followed that route myself, I've been in that carved out supportive role, with its marked feeling of having been chosen as handmaid-- and I can truthfully say, in the words of dearly departed Warren Zevon: "it ain't that pretty at all."
LOL. Good luck, kid. You're gonna need it.
March 5, 2006~ 7:00pm
It's Academy Awards night-- and I couldn't care less. First time in my life I'm not the least bit curious to watch. I care nothing for the films this time around. "Broke Back Mountain" sounds hokey and contrived to me, and I have to admit that the idea of two cowboys hankering after one another, tortured by their great love fills me with an icky sense of 'nevermind. don't wanna know about it.' Homosexuality per se doesn't bother me, but throw in the cowboy stuff and it's just waaay too over the top. Sounds like thick syrup run through an old dusty boot- treacly, and-- well-- "dumb". There. I've said it- I ain't hip or enlightened, and I prefer old John Wayne movies with Rooster Cogburn with his scowl and growl, and like my light-loafered cowpokes singing with The Village People, not in smarmy, melodramatic love scenes, but hey, that's just me.
So I'm going up to bed in just a while to dive into a WONDERFUL novel called 'The Historian'- a 'time-capsule-ish' book with a supernatural Dracula theme that's so fascinating to me there's no place I'd rather be this evening than buried in it. (No pun intended.) I'll leave the rest of the world to swoon over the Oscars. 'Taint what it used to be any old way, no, not at all. Hollywood bores me with all its deals and glitz and cheap lack of real substance. I'd rather read a big fat book any day of the week. Hands down.
March 6, 2006~ 6:30pm
I feel great today. Don't ask me why....the weather still as 'blah', and it IS a Monday, but by golly I feel terrific. Like the soul's been roto-rootered out and all the bad sludge is finally, finally gone. Feels like a new leaf's been turned- it's like an internal spring- that's what it feels like. Goodbye old stuff, hello new. Here's hopin' I wake up in the same frame of mind tomorrow, and the day after that- and the day after that- and what do you know, then I'll be on a WHOLE NEW yellow brick road. Throwing away these ruby slippers- don't wanna go home again. I wanna go on.....
but first.....gotta continue with "The Historian". Fabulous book. Quaint, old-style of narrative writing with lavish detail as you follow the younger version of the female protagonist all around Europe, keeping just one step ahead of vampires.....yes, indeedy. This is one book Bram Stoker would've cheered. It has his own richness and very real terror. Vlad........you're a bad, bad boy. lol --(and that's the way we like him.)
March 8, 2006~ 6:30pm
There was the one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen in my life this morning--the sky was dyed red, magenta, purple and pink-- and then the ball of gold began to come up, peeking through the trees, balanced just at a horizon line of black, and it was glorious.
All fleeting things are, and all beauty. Real beauty skips away almost at the moment it's registered on the retina, and in the heart.
How bittersweet being alive is. Today, I am aware of ticking clocks and I feel gratitude for every tick. We never know what is around the next corner-- maybe a sunrise such as I experienced this morning- that burst through the windshield at one turn of the wheel and when that happens, the ticking recedes in the ear-- and we get a heady taste of timelessness. One day, this spirit will have only that feeling--- all time that is no time at all, but one long everlasting moment. Today, I had a taste of grace.
March 9, 2006~ 4:45pm
Feels like spring today. Overcast and a bit drizzly, but there is a mild undercurrent to the breeze with temperatures hovering in the high 50's. There comes a point where you feel in your belly that spring is coming no matter what. It's feels like the end of gestation, and that despite hell or highwater, it's on its way.
I get to see the grandbabies tonight. Bill--of the fresh haircut-- has given up his desire to be Batman, and now wants only to be "Depeche Mode"- and play an "IN-stermint" like Andrew Fletcher, as he will insistently tell you. At 3 1/2, that's a precocious sort of ambition and a strange sort of yearning, but Bill has liked music from Day 1, and his baby sister Kay is more than happy to rock up on her knees, clucking her tongue and grinning to keep time. It should be a terrific evening: pizza and two half-pint entertainments.
Only one more work day.....then (Yeah!)...the weekend. Been sleeping like a top, enjoying my novel and waking rested. I think I am growing up and that the computer's fearsome hold on me is lessening after 6 years. lol.....I'm no longer a sleep-deprived addict. I'm damn near normal.
(Return To Weekly Archives)
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