Mad Pictures~ Page 8

things that make me laugh out loud...


~sometimes...we do dumb things






or misspell......very unfortunately






...or give bad advice






...or just, in general, make asses of ourselves






...or say seriously dumb stuff









So... as a public service, I've decided to post
a little list that at least contains some wisdom
amidst all this nonsense. OK ladies, for those of
you actively dating, here is my very own list of



Guys Not To Date



anyone who has an 'x' carved
into their forehead


anyone wearing a t-shirt that says
"50,000 battered women
in the world
and I'm still
eatin' mine plain"


anyone whose neck
is thicker than their head


anyone who "tears up"
telling you old Lassie stories


anyone who refers
to their car
as "she"


anyone driving
a car that still has a tape deck

and
plays it


anyone who tells you
they're an
'entrepreneur'


anyone, anytime, who uses
the word, "bitchin!"
and they
are 40+ years old


anyone who tries to catch glimpses of themselves
in plate glass windows


anyone who tells you
you have eyes 'like stars'--
and your eyes are dark brown, almost black


anyone
your aunt
introduces you to


anyone who spends the whole night
sucking up to your family and "doesn' t
really mind being there. No, really..."
(look for the ax in the back seat)


anyone who says, "You're the only one I...."

"I've never said this to anyone before, but..."

I feel I can really talk to you....."


(Oh! and anyone who says "Would you mind
if I brought along my pal, Joey?")- and it turns
out like this






RUN. Real fast.