Weblog 22

April 16, 2006~ 11:00am




Happy Easter, dear readers. It's a lovely, cool day in Pittsburgh, but sunny- and to my mind, perfect. Don't really care for the hot, hot Easters with crowding in of relatives in rooms that quickly become uncomfortable. I can almost smell the ham that's baking in my nephew's kitchen right now....

And deviled eggs! Lord, I love deviled eggs. I've already eaten half the box of fudge given to me by my honey 2 days ago from "Three Rivers Candy & Fudgery". He's given me this wonderful fudge for years now for Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter. I'm always so happy when I see that little pink box with the golden seal. I'm like a little kid, all grins and salivation, and tear into it with GUSTO! I tried to put a link in here, but the store doesn't have a website. Too bad. It's the buttery-ist, best fudge around.

Yes, I dread holidays. My towel, shampoo and creme rgie are waiting in the kitchen for me to go in and stick my head under the faucet for the quick shampoo, the camera is recharging it's batteries on the living room couch, the hot rollers are plugged in...but mysteriously, I still have holiday "jitters/funk". Weird. I always like it once I arrive wherever I have to be, but the anticipation is mixed with small anxieties. I had a car accident going to my nephew's on Easter two years ago, so maybe that's what's at the heart of this one- I simply don't know. I know I hated visiting on holidays when I was little; it just never went away completely.

I hope all of you out there DO enjoy your day. Oh well, I've given myself tomorrow off as well- don't think I've ever scheduled that before, so that's kind of neat. I'll think about that- I can stay up late tonight and sleep in, long and peacefully tomorrow then have a short workweek. Yes-That's the ticket! I'll think about that. Happy OD-ing on chocolate out there! (Hope you find all those eggs before the lawnmower does.)


April 18, 2006~ 2:00pm
EAUUUUUUUGHHHH!! I'm back at work! Four days off and I feel brain dead. It's as pretty a day as possible here, and I'm typing billings and listening to cross-chatter, gauging my pile of work. BLECH!...oh, well...life can't be all holiday, I s'pose. Slept to the last possible minute this morning and when the alarm rang, I shut it off, plugged in my hotrollers and went back to sleep for another hour. I was bleary-eyed and stunned when I walked in here. At least I'm wide awake now, and due to go home at 3:00. Looking forward to a lazy night of nuthin'. Early to bed with a book and tomorrow will already be mid-week.

Life is a series of small ladders that we climb, kick out of the way, and race on till we get to the last ladder that will go nowhere at all- (maybe)- maybe I'll be surprised and see that light everyone talks about who make it back from the premature check-outs. Nothing I'm looking forward to, however, so I may as well appreciate this. Someday, I'll be pleading for an afternoon just like it....


April 18, 2006~ 2:00pm




This is so good, I think I'll quote it in toto, right from the source. These were Bill Maher's closing remarks on a recent show. This is the kind of thing should be read more often. It's acerbic, satiric and most of all...truthful.

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished."

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote."

"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes." "On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side."

"So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'

Amen, brother. Amen.


April 21, 2006~ 5:30am
I bought gifts for Bill's third birthday party. Thought I'd bypass the mall (which I hate) and find something at the large Eckerd all purpose store that's 3/4 miles from my home. (Three very congested miles at a major intersection near to where I live.) I had such a good time walking the aisles and looking at fanciful things. Bought 4 Hawaiian shirts on impulse- only 2 fit- flameless candles- two of them- and two credit card sized magnifiers with LED light for storage in wallet for when I can't see the menu or the bill at the end of a meal or those micro-small insurance card photocopies I stare at all day long. I swear they make them that small so you mistype the ID number and the payor can deny the claim until you call them to find out why. (Keeps money in their coffers longer.)

Well I got home only one hour later than usual, put on coffee, and checked the mail. When I'd begun to unpack Bill's gifts and the 'whimseys' I'd bought, I found that of six bags the check-out girl packed, I only had five... so it was back to the car, cursing a sailor streak, and sitting in traffic to travel that mere 3/4 mile-- again.

When I parked my car in their lot and got out, there was my check out girl- a young, ditsy thing- digging in her purse for her car keys, wanting to get out of there and get home. "Hey"- I said- "you forgot-" "I know-" she said. "I left your bag in there behind the counter with a note on it that says 'if a lady comes back, she left this about 4:40pm today'. Those boys in line behind you distracted me and got me all confused."

"I thought they were going to MUG me!", I said. And I did: six of them- all elbows and deepening voice, baseball hats on backwards, talking too loud and smacking cigarette packs into the palms of their hands like tough guys- (cigarettes I know they were too young to purchase, and probably nervous about that.) One of them was holding a tall, dark green non-alcoholic champagne bottle in his hand, no doubt to celebrate their purchase of cigarettes from the young check-out girl, whose nerves they were wracking.

It was not Moët & Chandon, I'll tell you that...and that's what I was thinking of, sitting once again at the 5 minute light a mere three quarters of a mile from my own front door, air-conditioning blasting in the car again, my coffee turning bitter on the burner.

Always something, right?


April 26, 2006~ 7:30am


That was my last entry, folks. No one reads this shit anyway.
The few who have, take care and thanks for reading.

(Nah. That was a bunch of bull. Continue on...click on the link at the bottom to take you back to the archives. I have too big a mouth to stay shut for very long. FALSE ALARM.....)




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