Weblog 32
September 3, 2006~ 1:30pm
Sunday and cool, cool, cool. Wow! I love this change in the weather! After the torturous sweatbox we've been living in, this is Elysium. The world is again an explorable, fascinating place, and things suddenly seem wondrous strange
where I peacefully float, because the brain is not frying. It's been given a reprieve to concentrate on something other than heat, so it all looks vastly intriguing to me. (It does help that tomorrow is Labor Day and I am off from work, but even allowing for that, this upswing in mood and attitude is a direct result of temperatures more inclined to creative relaxation.)
Just the normal 'Sunday' things to do here: take my mother grocery shopping and have a bite at the local restaurant, but when I get back home (after not sweating in my car) I will have a whole evening and night to float some more. And read - and think - and sleep - and ooooooooo, that fills me with goosepimply happiness!
September 4, 2006~ 9:45pm
It's been a quiet, quiet day off. I was up at 8:00 a.m. for a while, then went back to bed to read till 10:00 and slept till 6:00 p.m. Ah....what luxury. Peaceful, and sweetly restful, that's what it was. The only disturbance was at new blog I'd become excited about and chose to comment there a couple of times, only to find that a knee-jerk Catholic took offense to one of my remarks and as per usual, the assholes ruin everything, so I am not going to comment there again. Now I ask you---is a metaphor using confession a condemnation of an entire faith? I don't think so, but thin-skinned devouts do, and that's one reason I am no longer a practicing Roman Catholic: too damn many closed minds and hearts, too much that is never open to criticism or question. Do people do NOTHING but REACT??
I did spend quite a while last night simply ingesting all I could about the The Exeter Cathedral. What a beautiful place! It's hard for me to get my mind around a structure that's existed in one form or another since the year 1050! I've always had a love of things medieval, so that led to penning a strange poem employing what I thought sounded like 'middle English' and using the lovely name of one part of the cathedral, the Sylke Chantry, as its title. I was lost, completely lost in terms like 'quire' and 'misericord'. I spent HOURS looking at things, and hopping to links and quite enjoying my time last night. The only thing that would have topped it off for me, would have been links to Gregorian chant and the sound of that altogether unbelieveable pipe organ. Goodness. How wonderful.....
So this 3 day weekend is just about over. (Damn!)- and I am soon heading back up to read some more before sleep. Sean H.- take a chill pill and Hugo, I won't cause a ruckus again in your terrific blog. I shall be a reader only. Let the hounds have at it, if they must but I'm exhausted being the fox in such places. Let the 'boys' rave on....
September 5, 2006~ 1:30pm
Once again, sick of everything. Droppin off the radar for a while. If I could disappear, I would.
Ok- the above was written at work, while a foul mood came crashing down on me out of nowhere. This happens at times....no predicting it. I hope I don't someday just delete everything I've ever put out there on the web in one frothing frenzy of gnarly mood--- it could happen. Don't think I haven't almost done it tons of times.) Yes, some days I just want to take a 10 lb. sledgehammer to this computer--all computers and just smash 'em, ala Carrie Nation with the whiskey kegs. What superlative satisfaction that would bring me..........
for 15 minutes. Don't know what happened today- bad wiring, being back at work with the way the traffic was this morning-- wondering how I'll keep on with that- thinking seriously about changing jobs just to get me out of that fricking traffic on some of the most crowded and dangerous routes in Pittsburgh. (I just KNOW I'm gonna die on that trip one day- it's spooky when I get fatalistic about that because I truly believe that 'thinking' can be a kind of calling down of fate- so I try to put those thoughts out of my mind very quickly.) But today, I just didn't care. This black cloud, out of nowhere just enveloped me for a while. Maybe it's partly because I couldn't buy my usual allergy medication. (Giant Eagle was out of it- I have to have the Claritin-D. Without the D, I become lethargic and tired, stuffed up- just plain miserable by the middle of the day.)
But I got home and a poem hit me right between the eyes and cleared the decks again of all that heavy crap. So if you want to know what a galloping, sudden, ugly mood looks like- here it is:
Yassir, that's my baby. Scary as hell.
September 6, 2006~ 6:30pm
Another day under the belt, and not feeling a whit better. Don't know where this black miasma has come from, but I know how to dodge it. Last night I slept 10 hours. Alarm went off at 4:00 a.m., and I reset it for 5:30. (Which means I had just enough time to stagger to the bathroom, slap on some makeup, take my vitamins, pee, clean up a bit and run out the door.)
It seems to me, when a day is offering nothing but misery, waking up in a cloud you went to bed with the night before, it's the smart thing to do, to put off stepping into it until the last possible second and that's what I did. I've passed the day fairly emotionless-ly, home again- and ready to dive back under the covers.
Reminds me of Keats 'Ode on Melancholy'- "when the melancholy fit shall fall, sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud".......yeah. Like that. I'm gonna surrender to it and fold myself into the bedcovers like a swaddled babe. Wait for the clangor of morning once again, when my first words again shall be, "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
September 7, 2006~ 6:00pm
Well, today wasstrike out time, big time. Today I posted a comment in a blog where a poem just blew me the hell away- yep- it was one of those 'Emily Dickenson blow the top of the head off' kind of things, where I was simply stunned by its beauty.
So I commented.
Happens to be a place where there are some folks who don't care much for me, and voila!- what happened was, first my comment was deleted. Then an apology was posted that it had been a 'mistake'- and 'the orphan' was free to comment there. Then I tried to re-post my simple, "this is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read" and I got a message, "You have to be a member of the Team in order to post a comment." (Not always. In fact, never before. You just had to be logged in, but suddenly there were restrictions.) Oh...and the apology was gone as well, and then I noticed that my removed post had been erased by the 'administrator'. LOL!! Jesus Christ!
Folks, I've said it before in here- my world has shrunk to damn near nuthin'....but that's alright. Can't win when you're struck down for being complimentary, so that about shuts the last door, doesn't it. Keeeee-RIPES!
If nothing else, what the past 8 months have taught me is to never, never, NEVER venture beyond my own space to comment or post on boards, blogs, the living lot of it.
There is only one blog where I feel welcome- and have since the first time I commented there, and that can be found in my links-- a home to a truly kind, truly talented and gracious lady, but other than that one, I'll keep to my own turf evermore. I have to face it: I've been baited, insulted, ignored, gossiped about, and dropped from reciprocal links "as a statement" for the last time.
Home is where you hang your hat. Period.
***
(Return To Weekly Archives)
Sunday and cool, cool, cool. Wow! I love this change in the weather! After the torturous sweatbox we've been living in, this is Elysium. The world is again an explorable, fascinating place, and things suddenly seem wondrous strange
where I peacefully float, because the brain is not frying. It's been given a reprieve to concentrate on something other than heat, so it all looks vastly intriguing to me. (It does help that tomorrow is Labor Day and I am off from work, but even allowing for that, this upswing in mood and attitude is a direct result of temperatures more inclined to creative relaxation.)
Just the normal 'Sunday' things to do here: take my mother grocery shopping and have a bite at the local restaurant, but when I get back home (after not sweating in my car) I will have a whole evening and night to float some more. And read - and think - and sleep - and ooooooooo, that fills me with goosepimply happiness!
September 4, 2006~ 9:45pm
It's been a quiet, quiet day off. I was up at 8:00 a.m. for a while, then went back to bed to read till 10:00 and slept till 6:00 p.m. Ah....what luxury. Peaceful, and sweetly restful, that's what it was. The only disturbance was at new blog I'd become excited about and chose to comment there a couple of times, only to find that a knee-jerk Catholic took offense to one of my remarks and as per usual, the assholes ruin everything, so I am not going to comment there again. Now I ask you---is a metaphor using confession a condemnation of an entire faith? I don't think so, but thin-skinned devouts do, and that's one reason I am no longer a practicing Roman Catholic: too damn many closed minds and hearts, too much that is never open to criticism or question. Do people do NOTHING but REACT??
I did spend quite a while last night simply ingesting all I could about the The Exeter Cathedral. What a beautiful place! It's hard for me to get my mind around a structure that's existed in one form or another since the year 1050! I've always had a love of things medieval, so that led to penning a strange poem employing what I thought sounded like 'middle English' and using the lovely name of one part of the cathedral, the Sylke Chantry, as its title. I was lost, completely lost in terms like 'quire' and 'misericord'. I spent HOURS looking at things, and hopping to links and quite enjoying my time last night. The only thing that would have topped it off for me, would have been links to Gregorian chant and the sound of that altogether unbelieveable pipe organ. Goodness. How wonderful.....
So this 3 day weekend is just about over. (Damn!)- and I am soon heading back up to read some more before sleep. Sean H.- take a chill pill and Hugo, I won't cause a ruckus again in your terrific blog. I shall be a reader only. Let the hounds have at it, if they must but I'm exhausted being the fox in such places. Let the 'boys' rave on....
September 5, 2006~ 1:30pm
Ok- the above was written at work, while a foul mood came crashing down on me out of nowhere. This happens at times....no predicting it. I hope I don't someday just delete everything I've ever put out there on the web in one frothing frenzy of gnarly mood--- it could happen. Don't think I haven't almost done it tons of times.) Yes, some days I just want to take a 10 lb. sledgehammer to this computer--all computers and just smash 'em, ala Carrie Nation with the whiskey kegs. What superlative satisfaction that would bring me..........
for 15 minutes. Don't know what happened today- bad wiring, being back at work with the way the traffic was this morning-- wondering how I'll keep on with that- thinking seriously about changing jobs just to get me out of that fricking traffic on some of the most crowded and dangerous routes in Pittsburgh. (I just KNOW I'm gonna die on that trip one day- it's spooky when I get fatalistic about that because I truly believe that 'thinking' can be a kind of calling down of fate- so I try to put those thoughts out of my mind very quickly.) But today, I just didn't care. This black cloud, out of nowhere just enveloped me for a while. Maybe it's partly because I couldn't buy my usual allergy medication. (Giant Eagle was out of it- I have to have the Claritin-D. Without the D, I become lethargic and tired, stuffed up- just plain miserable by the middle of the day.)
But I got home and a poem hit me right between the eyes and cleared the decks again of all that heavy crap. So if you want to know what a galloping, sudden, ugly mood looks like- here it is:
Yassir, that's my baby. Scary as hell.
September 6, 2006~ 6:30pm
Another day under the belt, and not feeling a whit better. Don't know where this black miasma has come from, but I know how to dodge it. Last night I slept 10 hours. Alarm went off at 4:00 a.m., and I reset it for 5:30. (Which means I had just enough time to stagger to the bathroom, slap on some makeup, take my vitamins, pee, clean up a bit and run out the door.)
It seems to me, when a day is offering nothing but misery, waking up in a cloud you went to bed with the night before, it's the smart thing to do, to put off stepping into it until the last possible second and that's what I did. I've passed the day fairly emotionless-ly, home again- and ready to dive back under the covers.
Reminds me of Keats 'Ode on Melancholy'- "when the melancholy fit shall fall, sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud".......yeah. Like that. I'm gonna surrender to it and fold myself into the bedcovers like a swaddled babe. Wait for the clangor of morning once again, when my first words again shall be, "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
September 7, 2006~ 6:00pm
Well, today was
Folks, I've said it before in here- my world has shrunk to damn near nuthin'....but that's alright. Can't win when you're struck down for being complimentary, so that about shuts the last door, doesn't it. Keeeee-RIPES!
If nothing else, what the past 8 months have taught me is to never, never, NEVER venture beyond my own space to comment or post on boards, blogs, the living lot of it.
There is only one blog where I feel welcome- and have since the first time I commented there, and that can be found in my links-- a home to a truly kind, truly talented and gracious lady, but other than that one, I'll keep to my own turf evermore. I have to face it: I've been baited, insulted, ignored, gossiped about, and dropped from reciprocal links "as a statement" for the last time.
Home is where you hang your hat. Period.
(Return To Weekly Archives)
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