Weblog 36
October 1, 2006~ 1:45pm
There are viruses galore going around with this first full thrust of fall, and both me and my sweetie have succumbed to them. Chills, feeling lousy and stuffed up (and for me- a frequent parade to the bathroom)- headachy and crappy. This has been a weekend of hibernation. Didn't go out after Friday night and slept most of yesterday away. Don't feel up to taking my mother shopping, so I just made that call, and at 86 years old, that throws her for a loop, breaking 'routine'. Can't be helped though. I have to go to work tomorrow for closing out the month, and I want to be feeling as sound as possible.
Ever notice how 'quiet' the world gets when you're under the weather? Mostly what you hear is the blood rushing through your ears, the tick of the clock, the sound of your own sniffling. It's an eerie isolation and I'm willing to bet it affects everyone in just this way.
And in that frame of mind, we're all six years old again- looking out the window and watching the world go by- and it looks bigger, and more puzzling than at any other time. Here's to lots of sleep today and feeling better tomorrow. Here's to a day of rest so that I can totally knock myself out tomorrow, then fight traffic coming home to pick mum up and do the grocery shopping then. Oh, joy. LOL! Oh, what a life....
October 3, 2006~ 7:00pm
Sick all weekend, went to work yesterday, schlepped to the grocery store with my mother last evening, came home and crashed. Today I stayed home from work and just slept, and I have to say I feel nearly 100 percent this evening. Whatever was struggling to get a darn good grip of me has loosened its grasp- the 'iffy' intestinal business, the chills, the stuffed head seem to be just a picture in the rearview right now, and I hope this continues. I have to babysit on Friday, and I want to be healthy and 'all there' for it.
I am overcome with grief in thinking about those poor, doomed Amish girls, shot execution style yesterday in eastern Pennsylvania. What sort of insanity is this? What is happening in this country? My God.....AMISH for heaven sake- a more peaceable, respectful, hard-working, simple folk you could not find, and to have this 'modern nightmare' crash into their world just flattens me. Overcome- totally, with sadness at this. One of my Blue House issues featured the photography of Bill Colman, who for 34 years has taken pictures of their bucolic lifestyle, capturing simplicity and joy in each frame.
What madman would want to destroy something this absolutely lovely? It staggers the mind- it pierces the heart. If you'd like to wander further into this rural world of unmatched beauty and heartland goodness, visit Amish Photos. I would imagine at this point it will break your heart, but these simple folk should be mourned. And their world celebrated. These senseless murders are yet another instance of how coarsened and ugly our world has become. God help us....
October 5, 2006~ 9:45pm
I've decided to delete my poetry posting board The Orphaned Poets. I guess there are a lot of reasons- and I'm sure that being just tired of the effort needed to keep one going is one, but it's become balled up in a growing disillusion and disgust with the internet itself- and in particular-with interactive sites.
This may sound like a crazy connection but the horror I feel in thinking about those senseless Amish murders has made me take a good look at internet influence in our lives.
What is the role it plays? In what ways does it warp and shape our world and what are the ways in which I participate (or have participated) in this immersion, and most critical: how do I contribute to being part of this modern "English" culture (as the Amish refer to outsiders due to the German dialect they speak among themselves.) Even their speech renders them separate from the world around them, and I think that is a good lesson to learn.
I don't think there's a person out there who would honestly say the benefits- real benefits to humanity- outweigh the garbage factor, which increases exponentially with the amount of interactive, real time internet activities.
I don't believe in censorship per se, but I believe in personal censorship- and in walking away from areas I see as shakiest, or prone to.........well......just bad stuff. I've watched poetry interactive boards turn into absolute pornography- violent and sexual pornography readily accepted as art. Even if at Orphans that sort of thing is more or less controlled by my general attitude and by the way I will jump all over such things, I see echoes, shadows of it all the time- down to the stupid ads that Google generates on the page itself. It's the very potentiality of that happening that bothers me. It's by my swimming in this sea, and it's thinking posters may drift in who do consider it "business as usual" to post any horrid tripe, and it's in the false-name would-be members who send me emails requesting to join and the 'person' turns out to be an ad for Viagra or breast augmentation creme.
Why do they drift onto a poetry board?
I think it's because most boards I've seen are free-for-alls that wouldn't bat an eye at the most outrageous of posts and in fact, usually praise them. Just yesterday I happened to visit a board that had a huge number of views and responses for a poem with a subtitle of: 'Caution! Strong content that may be upsetting'. In fact the poem was quite vague and mediocre but quickly became nominated for an internet poetry competition and even the author came back in to say, "wow. never expected this response! must have been the disclaimer. :-)" ---yup-- board posters become 'marketers' and marketing is all about attention-grabbing.
And what is the final outcome of giving into such murkiness over and over? When it becomes a way of life? Well I believe at its extremes it creates a world in which children are seen as grab-able, assault-able, kill-able commodities; after all, do we not see it all over the internet in photo, story, ad and poetry form? And when the already unbalanced see that the unthinkable is at last, not only thinkable but do-able, and they go out and molest and kill school children, we throw our hands up and ask how such a thing could happen................
So I'm going back to posting my poems on a plain black page, white lettering, no commenting or response needed.
There they'll be.
When my poetry is best, it's a meditative experience- not a social one- and honestly, the poems sound truest when they're simply 'me talking to me'.
Ah... more grim news today-- can you believe that my 86 year old mother got her photo ID today and changed political parties at the same time!
My mother, who's been a Democrat for years, but has voted Republican since Reagan,has now officially turned her one "blood-bought-freedom vote" right over to oligarchs and madmen. (What could have come over her to make it 'official' at this point?)
And she actually told me like she expected some kind of kudo for what she'd just done! Insanity.... honestly, Ma, joining up with a party just when the country is finally becoming convinced what ASSHOLES they truly are, is like signing up as a deck-swabber on the Titanic. So it's he end of a splendid day.
Hope there's not too many more like the ones I've had this week. The best thing about this day is that it's at its end.
Book and bed are waiting.
Thank God.
***
(Return To Weekly Archives)
There are viruses galore going around with this first full thrust of fall, and both me and my sweetie have succumbed to them. Chills, feeling lousy and stuffed up (and for me- a frequent parade to the bathroom)- headachy and crappy. This has been a weekend of hibernation. Didn't go out after Friday night and slept most of yesterday away. Don't feel up to taking my mother shopping, so I just made that call, and at 86 years old, that throws her for a loop, breaking 'routine'. Can't be helped though. I have to go to work tomorrow for closing out the month, and I want to be feeling as sound as possible.
Ever notice how 'quiet' the world gets when you're under the weather? Mostly what you hear is the blood rushing through your ears, the tick of the clock, the sound of your own sniffling. It's an eerie isolation and I'm willing to bet it affects everyone in just this way.
And in that frame of mind, we're all six years old again- looking out the window and watching the world go by- and it looks bigger, and more puzzling than at any other time. Here's to lots of sleep today and feeling better tomorrow. Here's to a day of rest so that I can totally knock myself out tomorrow, then fight traffic coming home to pick mum up and do the grocery shopping then. Oh, joy. LOL! Oh, what a life....
October 3, 2006~ 7:00pm
Sick all weekend, went to work yesterday, schlepped to the grocery store with my mother last evening, came home and crashed. Today I stayed home from work and just slept, and I have to say I feel nearly 100 percent this evening. Whatever was struggling to get a darn good grip of me has loosened its grasp- the 'iffy' intestinal business, the chills, the stuffed head seem to be just a picture in the rearview right now, and I hope this continues. I have to babysit on Friday, and I want to be healthy and 'all there' for it.
I am overcome with grief in thinking about those poor, doomed Amish girls, shot execution style yesterday in eastern Pennsylvania. What sort of insanity is this? What is happening in this country? My God.....AMISH for heaven sake- a more peaceable, respectful, hard-working, simple folk you could not find, and to have this 'modern nightmare' crash into their world just flattens me. Overcome- totally, with sadness at this. One of my Blue House issues featured the photography of Bill Colman, who for 34 years has taken pictures of their bucolic lifestyle, capturing simplicity and joy in each frame.
October 5, 2006~ 9:45pm
I've decided to delete my poetry posting board The Orphaned Poets. I guess there are a lot of reasons- and I'm sure that being just tired of the effort needed to keep one going is one, but it's become balled up in a growing disillusion and disgust with the internet itself- and in particular-with interactive sites.
This may sound like a crazy connection but the horror I feel in thinking about those senseless Amish murders has made me take a good look at internet influence in our lives.
What is the role it plays? In what ways does it warp and shape our world and what are the ways in which I participate (or have participated) in this immersion, and most critical: how do I contribute to being part of this modern "English" culture (as the Amish refer to outsiders due to the German dialect they speak among themselves.) Even their speech renders them separate from the world around them, and I think that is a good lesson to learn.
I don't think there's a person out there who would honestly say the benefits- real benefits to humanity- outweigh the garbage factor, which increases exponentially with the amount of interactive, real time internet activities.
I don't believe in censorship per se, but I believe in personal censorship- and in walking away from areas I see as shakiest, or prone to.........well......just bad stuff. I've watched poetry interactive boards turn into absolute pornography- violent and sexual pornography readily accepted as art. Even if at Orphans that sort of thing is more or less controlled by my general attitude and by the way I will jump all over such things, I see echoes, shadows of it all the time- down to the stupid ads that Google generates on the page itself. It's the very potentiality of that happening that bothers me. It's by my swimming in this sea, and it's thinking posters may drift in who do consider it "business as usual" to post any horrid tripe, and it's in the false-name would-be members who send me emails requesting to join and the 'person' turns out to be an ad for Viagra or breast augmentation creme.
Why do they drift onto a poetry board?
I think it's because most boards I've seen are free-for-alls that wouldn't bat an eye at the most outrageous of posts and in fact, usually praise them. Just yesterday I happened to visit a board that had a huge number of views and responses for a poem with a subtitle of: 'Caution! Strong content that may be upsetting'. In fact the poem was quite vague and mediocre but quickly became nominated for an internet poetry competition and even the author came back in to say, "wow. never expected this response! must have been the disclaimer. :-)" ---yup-- board posters become 'marketers' and marketing is all about attention-grabbing.
And what is the final outcome of giving into such murkiness over and over? When it becomes a way of life? Well I believe at its extremes it creates a world in which children are seen as grab-able, assault-able, kill-able commodities; after all, do we not see it all over the internet in photo, story, ad and poetry form? And when the already unbalanced see that the unthinkable is at last, not only thinkable but do-able, and they go out and molest and kill school children, we throw our hands up and ask how such a thing could happen................
So I'm going back to posting my poems on a plain black page, white lettering, no commenting or response needed.
There they'll be.
When my poetry is best, it's a meditative experience- not a social one- and honestly, the poems sound truest when they're simply 'me talking to me'.
Ah... more grim news today-- can you believe that my 86 year old mother got her photo ID today and changed political parties at the same time!
My mother, who's been a Democrat for years, but has voted Republican since Reagan,has now officially turned her one "blood-bought-freedom vote" right over to oligarchs and madmen. (What could have come over her to make it 'official' at this point?)
And she actually told me like she expected some kind of kudo for what she'd just done! Insanity.... honestly, Ma, joining up with a party just when the country is finally becoming convinced what ASSHOLES they truly are, is like signing up as a deck-swabber on the Titanic. So it's he end of a splendid day.
Hope there's not too many more like the ones I've had this week. The best thing about this day is that it's at its end.
Book and bed are waiting.
Thank God.
(Return To Weekly Archives)
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