Weblog 81

August 26, 2007~ 12:15am
The world feels askew to me. Everything leans at a dizzying angle. I'm sure the intense heat has something to do with it, but much of it definitely resides between my own two ears....



Looking at that, I can't tell you if I'm the fella leaning so precariously toward a slanted reality, or if I'm the sole silhouette in the doorway, loathe to venture inside a thing so obviously falling down. I can tell you that life seems surreal to me of late. I'm like an astronaut hearing my own breathing inside a protective head piece, holding eveything else at arm's length because it makes me slightly squeamish. People look monstrous to me-- hungry and out of control. Laughter is too loud. Colors are garish. The only place I truly feel at peace is in my own house or bubbled up in my car, air conditioner softly hissing and listening to music of my own choosing. Summer is hard for me: people press in uncomfortably close, much too obvious in their loud Hawaiian colors and shiny, sweaty skin. Makes me long for the cold that chases them indoors, mutes sound- makes light cleaner as it falls on spaces where humans have not collected with their smells and their noise.

I am this blue clown, under a blue moon- blue haunted face upcast to the blessing of a distant universe- wondering if there is anyone else out there of my kind- who is not carnivorous after life, but prefers a cooler world, a slower pulse, a quieter brain.



The wonderful black and white image above- the leaning house- is one of Rodney Smith's photographs. He's a brilliant photographer. If you'd like to see more of his work, visit this site. I love the surreal quality of these very concrete images as well as the clarity of contrast, and of course........the hats, which- from Magritte to the film 'Being There', to the classic, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" and more recently, "The Prestige"- are images that always delight me, and I don't know why....

Yes I do......they look......'natty and proper'. I trust them. They have a wonderful reticience, a propriety life surely lacks nowadays. A hatless person is one who runs headlong into shit, full speed ahead- (and I'm not talking about caps- baseball caps, in particular. Those are worn by morons of all ilk.) I'm talking "HATS"- the real ones. The ones doffed for ladies or out of respect- that world, that one- is the one gone in a blue puff of smoke. The one I look longingly for, wearing an outfit that makes me a 'clown', I suppose. Alone, certainly. Looking................up.




August 28, 2007~ 10:15pm
Slogging around through words like they are a plate of tangled, luke-warm spaghetti, and getting more and more entangled and unhappy with the knots, I stumbled upon a truly delightful site called "Scriptgenerator"- which lets any Tom, Dick or Jane be a cartoonist. A couple crazy Slovenian guys created a wonderful, easy-to-use program that is FUN!! -and God, that's what I've been sorely needing- some good old F*CKIN FUN!!! Anyway, here's the link to my strip, if you wanna peruse 'em....


LOL!!! Calls upon all my 12 years of experience in parochial schools and the "nunly" creatures therein.....the good, the bad and the ugly. Fastidious, sheltered, neat, kind- angers well-tamped down, except for momentary Vesuvial explosions- and very sweet, for the most part. Strange, strange creatures that seem to fascinate a lot of people. Hope you enjoy~




September 1, 2007~ 10:15am
Sent to me, via email. Simply delightful.




Moving South, 2007

May 30, 2007 :
Just moved to Huntsville, Alabama from Chicago, Illinois.
Now, this is a city that knows how to live!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! I watched the sunset from a park while
lying on a blanket. It was beautiful.
I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14, 2007 :
Really heating up.
Got to 100 degrees today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned
car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30, 2007 :
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants
today. Lots of cactus and rocks. The yard is a breeze
to maintain! No more mowing the lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love living in Huntsville.

July 10, 2007 :
The temperature hasn't been below 100 degrees all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least it's kind of windy, but getting used to the heat
and humidity is taking longer that I expected.

July 15, 2007 :
Fell asleep by the pool.
(Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 3
days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson, though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20, 2007 :
Morgan (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch,
Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a
shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather
upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Kibbles and shits.
I learned my lesson, though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25, 2007 :
The wind sucks.
It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!
And it's hot as hell!
The home air-conditioner is on the fritz, and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order the parts.

July 30, 2007 :
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
The monthly house payment is $1,500 and we can't
even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4, 2007 :
It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
today for a cost of $900. The temperature gets down
to 78 degrees, but this freaking humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 95 degrees.
I hate this stupid city.

August 8, 2007 :
If another wise ass person cracks, "Hot enough for
you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over,
my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!

August 9, 2007 :
Tried to run some errands after work.
Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the
ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost two layers
of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.
Now my car smells like burnt hair,
fried ass, and baked cat.

August 10, 2007 :
The weather report might as well be a damn recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny.
It's been too hot to do anything for two damn months,
and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?
Water rationing will be next, so I might as well watch
$1,700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the
damn pool. Not even cactus can live in this damn heat.

August 14, 2007 :
Welcome to HELL!!!
The temperature got to 105 degrees today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn
windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it
and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had
to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me
out of jail.

Freaking South.

What kind of a sick demented idiot
would want to live here?




(Yep. 'Dat kind.)





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