Weblog 123

June 15, 2008~ 3:40am
I swear, if I didn't have books I'd go crazy. Time and again books have saved me from myself- from an all too easy inclination to sink into doldrums in a 'is that all there is?' frame of mind.

I dream of all night libraries



where the weary and depressed can pop in like at a 7/11, and grab a cold six-pack of reading. There is no greater escape. Not movies, not drives, not other hobbies, which can offer such instant 'getting away'- and I mean completely- into a place outside your skull that is so totally real, you can live there as long as you like.

I'm currently reading the second in a trilogy written by Pat Barker about World War I. The Books are 'Regeneration', 'The Eye In The Door'- and the final, 'The Ghost Road'- which I have yet to begin. She takes my breath away. So close to the nerve and bone does Parker write in this fictional account of post-traumatic shock, whose main characters are the very real poets, Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owens, as well as a fictional main protagonist, Billy Prior, who makes his way through all three books. The character of the psychiatrist W. H. R. Rivers is so moving and compassionate a person, I'm very pleased he was an actual man at one time, and have fallen completely in love with the methods he uses in treating his patients-- he's intuitive, respectful, unhurried--- and gentle, gentle, gentle.

So I've been spending a good deal of my recent time in the Scottish war hospital Craiglockhart, in the early part of the 20th century....



dealing with nightmares, shell shock and what appears to be tortured sexuality, and the way the psyche sometimes needs the most powerful instincts to subvert pain. Broken men. Staggering Humpty Dumptys who are being put back together again, while battling horrifying images as they stutter and night-scream to combat their daily visitations of remembered hell. Yes, right now I am in Scotland, second decade of the 1900's, surrounded by shaking wrecks- and the creative approach of one phenomenal physician whose conflicted aim is to get them well enough to return to the No Man's Land of the Front. It's been wonderfully rare reading.

So I'm dealing with tragedy right now and the after effects of psychological and physical trauma-- but within it, is the most amazing delicate beauty, like a beautiful woman



who perhaps lives in all of our most human endeavors. The "Alma", the soul-- which will not be denied. No matter how beastly our straits or horrifying our circumstances, she's there like an ethereal creature within a membrane of the thinnest light: she sees out- but her brilliance also allows us to see in-- to see her. And she's a beauty.




June 17, 2008~ 6:30pm
One day after watching the DVD French Documentary, Winged Migration - and it still sticks with me. WOW....if you've never watched this film, rent it now. There simply are no words to describe the magnificence of its scope and beauty.

I've always loved birds....always...they represent absolute freedom and purity to me, with their lifting off and above things, with a wider, more distant perspective. For the first half-hour I was so awed by this film, tears just kept rising up and spilling over. It's the kind of beauty renders a person speechless- and the heart expands to such a degree-- you just feel cleaner than you were before.

And the music is spectacular! If you enjoy driving, tribal sounds.... and chant......if you love the way those Irish drums can beat down deep in the solar plexus.... you'll love this soundtrack.

That said...today for the first time, I spread some peanuts outside near the base of my towering pine tree. Within minutes one of those cutie chipmunks who live in my carport, tunneled down deep, popped out and found them. (Why didn't I think of this before!) I had SO MUCH FUN watching the pesky little, skittery bugger...





There's the fella, running back up the walk. LOL!! Not long though, and back he was...





Oh.....and that $780.00 carport "redo" I had done so the damn thing doesn't spill into the yard, my car with it....here it is, my 2007 Ford Focus parked proudly atop it, hovering over the big railroad ties shoved up against the retaining wall just like The Alamo





The old wall was a nice combination of red brick and horizontal railroad ties. Well...as all things sink into entropy after a while, the rains over the years had pushed out a good deal of the unmortared brick, and I had a large pile of gravel and dirt spilling onto the lawn. This wall is pine board, coated with creosote and shored up by those hefty diagonal supports. I think that'll hold it.

Of course, the wily chipmunks found their way back inside by tunneling through the gravel on top. (It must look like the catacombs in there....little Chip and Dale reading their newspapers, relaxing, sleeping in small burrows, and now of course.......eating peanuts.) Wish my camera hadn't run out of juice, because the only ones who like those nuts more than the chipmunks ...are the bluejays. Gosh! they're gorgeous up close!

Back to birdwatching here, while the light holds-- and before the storm rolls in. Great, cool evening we've got in Pittsburgh... 68 degrees, and feels like fall. HOORAY!




June 19, 2008~ 7:30pm
Someone sent me some wonderful stuff today via email, and this one image is so 'true'......if you know anything about Pittsburgh, this was captioned, You Know You're In Pittsburgh, If...


I can recall getting messages from folks- the elderly in particular, on my answering machine, and they sounded so stressed about not getting the person they expected, yet they still pushed on and left a message anyway. It would go something like this, "Syliva? Sylvia, I've been waiting for your call, and I'm starting to get worried. Call me back........at.........412-_ _ _-_ _ _ _ ok? Please?"

Now, bear in mind, I'm thinking this Sylvia oughta know the number if it's a relative or a close friend, but oh, the elderly take directions. My message said, "Leave your number, and I'll call you back." So they did! Even though the message said "Hi, this is Karen..." LOL!

I called her back and told her she'd called the wrong number... and she was very confused. Couldn't understand why I was calling, and after a LOT of explanation, I do hope she hung up and got hold of the missing Sylvia. Another time, an old fella thought he had the hospital out-patient surgery, and called 3 TIMES to say it just wasn't right-- how his surgery was scheduled for tomorrow and he was told to call after 3 and get his instructions, and how come 'NOBODY HAD CALLED ME BACK. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??.'

That one sounded pretty serious- and I tried to call him. Twice-- it just rang and rang. Lordy, I hope everything turned out alright on that one.

But Pittsburghers will talk to you. A LOT. God bless us. {{{{smile}}}}





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