Weblog 196
November 8, 2009~ 12:00am
Life is so often a black and white affair. We're young.....we're old. We're in.........we're out.... hot....cold........ some things are simple, and it makes me think about the ending of things and the beginnings of others.
When do you know something is done and something else has begun... has stepped into its place? Although we think of black and white, it's the minute shadings in-between that perplex us.
I'm thinking about this because of the changes in health, in temperament, in habit that should have alerted me (and probably did) to the big changes that were to occur in this past year.
At the chewed-up end of 2009, and nearly at its completion, I can look back and see that the death of my 21 year old cat, of Wayne's sister- the slow decline of my mother were all apparent, but I chose to be blind on the everyday level. I think I did know deeper down where we hate to look too closely, but when changes come, or losses appear-- and so many at once-- it's boggling.
Even in youth, in the dewiest hours of our lives
the young girl stands in alarm, intuiting that even as we breathe, and with each breath-- something is slipping away. We can batten down hatches, we can ignore, we can go about our business, but in the secret hours of the heart
we dare to look out the window at the shapes coming down the road. They are distant, yet they approach. They're there on the road, and we know they must visit us, as well as everyone we know and love. The snug house filled with safety will one day be an abandoned falling down affair
like the picture above of the once great house of steel magnate, Andrew Carnegie. A summer home, and not too far from Pittsburgh, is falling to ruin- in danger of being torn down without the funds to save it. What laughter once rang there? How many happy hours of a rich man's life that must have seemed impervious to decline, nevertheless declined: the man dies, the house is all that remains with only wood rot and wind through it.
Am I depressed? No.....but I'm reflective. Realistic. Having my mother in a home now after the hubbub and the activity and fears of the past two weeks has left me thinking, mulling things over. The energy has gone out of me. The thing has been accomplished. I look and think, "this is all of us one day"-- this is the bend that announces the change in the path-- and farther down, perhaps around a turn we cannot see, the road simply ends without further ado-- the journey is over.
Towns come and go. Houses, lives......marriages and children thrive for a time in a specific place, with faces recognizable to all, and then things change.
The under the Christmas tree look of the standing frames, the cared-for windows and doors - and the people in them - all- are in the process of disappearing day by day - so slowly, it's hard to notice.
I guess this is just a meditation on paying notice to life, each and every day. Kiss those you love. Do things you enjoy. And look. That most of all. Look closely at all of it- all is precious. They're fairy lights that are dancing away, one toe at a time. Make sure you take pictures.
November 8, 2009~ 12:45pm
We rented 'X Men Origins: Wolverine' and watched that last night.
My take on this prequel (which is popular these days) is it's honestly a sequel (meaning the original film made money)- patched together by a bunch of computer special-effects guys who were high on sugar and trying to pack as many 'Oh, wow!' effects as possible into the film to get it into the can and 'get it out there' pronto, in order to rake in more cash. LOL!!
It was entertaining enough, certainly- Hugh Jackman is always at his scowling best in these, but overall, I saw not one thing I haven't seen before (including a host of those slow motion, room-high leaps, somersaulting gracefully, that became so popular since 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' burst on the scene; even Quentin Tarantino made full use of these in his 'Kill Bill' films.)
One comment though: the dumb scene in the boxing ring with the mutant who'd pudged up to about 600 pounds of lard, bouncing around in his rubber fat-suit, should have been cut. Since this was a movie with no tongue-in-cheek humor, their one visual gag seemed so out-of-place. "Don't mention his weight!" .....puh-lease. And it's a scene that went on for some time... (guess they wanted to get all the 'punch for their buck' they could, once they dragged that thing out of prop central and made the poor actor suffer through probably hours and hours in the make-up chair.) It so glaringly didn't fit, it was the one thing that convinced me this movie had 'Summer Release, Kids Will Love It... Will Bring Their Parents' Wallets' written all over it.
If I were grading this movie like a school term paper, I'd give it a 70. Mostly for lack of originality and theft of ideas. (To steal from Ang Lee in an action movie is one thing.....to steal from Eddie Murphy...........unforgivable.) The one good thing I will say is that the movie wasn't gory. They stopped at 'gratuitous violence'. Since that's often another money-maker, they did restrain themselves there... and what a relief. Tons of fake blood on top of everything else would have put this one smack on a 'DON'T SEE' list.
November 10, 2009~ 4:50am
Yesterday I managed to sleep through my alarm....
the rooster crowed I'm sure, but I'd only set one of my two clocks, and alas, slumber claimed me until 6:15a.m.
I'm to be at work at 6:30, so I called and took the day off. (I've rushed around in the past when this has happened, and arrived disoriented and out of sorts) -but yesterday, and since I still have plenty of time to use before the end of the year, I stayed put.
It was a day of hard sleeping. I figure I must have needed it or the sleep-in wouldn't have happened in the first place. Feeling more myself today- up at the first hint of the rooster crow. Doubtless my work will have piled up in my absence, but this is still the wax of the week and not the waning, so things will get done. Sometimes, you just gotta step off the merry-go-round. Yesterday was my day. :)
November 10, 2009~ 8:00pm
Well, after already being one day behind the eight ball with my sleeping in yesterday, I got to work to discover that the 'power mishap' which brought down a telephone pole on our lot over the weekend- and which started a fire, and left our one banked hillside scorched.... the 'mishap' was caused by a RED-TAILED HAWK
(magificent birds...HUGE) flying into our telephone lines that lead to the building. (Rest in peace, fella'. Poor thing....but they do terrify and prey on our squirrels, and that pisses me off) but such is nature, right?
Well wouldn't you know it, the one COMPUTER that got FRIED in the mishap belonged to yours truly.
I spent my day on the slowest Old Nellie in the building...much of the time just staring at a twirling hourglass. LOL... just my luck! I'm getting a new one, the insurance will take care if it....but gees...I liked my OLD, lightning fast box! Sheesh. Oh well, Friday the new one comes, and until then it's 'giddy up' Nellie. LOL. I stopped after work to see mum. She's doing even better. Seems more alert than ever....and suggested we take a walk again. Gave me a tour of her floor... the cozy kitchen, the laundry (should you choose to throw in a load)- the visitors' room with lovely dark wooden table and chairs, games, books.......she's was quite puffed up. Nice little hour visit, but traffic was horrible. Full moon madness...Lord help us.
***
(Return To Weekly Archives)
Life is so often a black and white affair. We're young.....we're old. We're in.........we're out.... hot....cold........ some things are simple, and it makes me think about the ending of things and the beginnings of others.
When do you know something is done and something else has begun... has stepped into its place? Although we think of black and white, it's the minute shadings in-between that perplex us.
I'm thinking about this because of the changes in health, in temperament, in habit that should have alerted me (and probably did) to the big changes that were to occur in this past year.
At the chewed-up end of 2009, and nearly at its completion, I can look back and see that the death of my 21 year old cat, of Wayne's sister- the slow decline of my mother were all apparent, but I chose to be blind on the everyday level. I think I did know deeper down where we hate to look too closely, but when changes come, or losses appear-- and so many at once-- it's boggling.
Even in youth, in the dewiest hours of our lives
the young girl stands in alarm, intuiting that even as we breathe, and with each breath-- something is slipping away. We can batten down hatches, we can ignore, we can go about our business, but in the secret hours of the heart
we dare to look out the window at the shapes coming down the road. They are distant, yet they approach. They're there on the road, and we know they must visit us, as well as everyone we know and love. The snug house filled with safety will one day be an abandoned falling down affair
like the picture above of the once great house of steel magnate, Andrew Carnegie. A summer home, and not too far from Pittsburgh, is falling to ruin- in danger of being torn down without the funds to save it. What laughter once rang there? How many happy hours of a rich man's life that must have seemed impervious to decline, nevertheless declined: the man dies, the house is all that remains with only wood rot and wind through it.
Am I depressed? No.....but I'm reflective. Realistic. Having my mother in a home now after the hubbub and the activity and fears of the past two weeks has left me thinking, mulling things over. The energy has gone out of me. The thing has been accomplished. I look and think, "this is all of us one day"-- this is the bend that announces the change in the path-- and farther down, perhaps around a turn we cannot see, the road simply ends without further ado-- the journey is over.
Towns come and go. Houses, lives......marriages and children thrive for a time in a specific place, with faces recognizable to all, and then things change.
The under the Christmas tree look of the standing frames, the cared-for windows and doors - and the people in them - all- are in the process of disappearing day by day - so slowly, it's hard to notice.
I guess this is just a meditation on paying notice to life, each and every day. Kiss those you love. Do things you enjoy. And look. That most of all. Look closely at all of it- all is precious. They're fairy lights that are dancing away, one toe at a time. Make sure you take pictures.
November 8, 2009~ 12:45pm
We rented 'X Men Origins: Wolverine' and watched that last night.
My take on this prequel (which is popular these days) is it's honestly a sequel (meaning the original film made money)- patched together by a bunch of computer special-effects guys who were high on sugar and trying to pack as many 'Oh, wow!' effects as possible into the film to get it into the can and 'get it out there' pronto, in order to rake in more cash. LOL!!
It was entertaining enough, certainly- Hugh Jackman is always at his scowling best in these, but overall, I saw not one thing I haven't seen before (including a host of those slow motion, room-high leaps, somersaulting gracefully, that became so popular since 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' burst on the scene; even Quentin Tarantino made full use of these in his 'Kill Bill' films.)
One comment though: the dumb scene in the boxing ring with the mutant who'd pudged up to about 600 pounds of lard, bouncing around in his rubber fat-suit, should have been cut. Since this was a movie with no tongue-in-cheek humor, their one visual gag seemed so out-of-place. "Don't mention his weight!" .....puh-lease. And it's a scene that went on for some time... (guess they wanted to get all the 'punch for their buck' they could, once they dragged that thing out of prop central and made the poor actor suffer through probably hours and hours in the make-up chair.) It so glaringly didn't fit, it was the one thing that convinced me this movie had 'Summer Release, Kids Will Love It... Will Bring Their Parents' Wallets' written all over it.
If I were grading this movie like a school term paper, I'd give it a 70. Mostly for lack of originality and theft of ideas. (To steal from Ang Lee in an action movie is one thing.....to steal from Eddie Murphy...........unforgivable.) The one good thing I will say is that the movie wasn't gory. They stopped at 'gratuitous violence'. Since that's often another money-maker, they did restrain themselves there... and what a relief. Tons of fake blood on top of everything else would have put this one smack on a 'DON'T SEE' list.
November 10, 2009~ 4:50am
Yesterday I managed to sleep through my alarm....
the rooster crowed I'm sure, but I'd only set one of my two clocks, and alas, slumber claimed me until 6:15a.m.
I'm to be at work at 6:30, so I called and took the day off. (I've rushed around in the past when this has happened, and arrived disoriented and out of sorts) -but yesterday, and since I still have plenty of time to use before the end of the year, I stayed put.
It was a day of hard sleeping. I figure I must have needed it or the sleep-in wouldn't have happened in the first place. Feeling more myself today- up at the first hint of the rooster crow. Doubtless my work will have piled up in my absence, but this is still the wax of the week and not the waning, so things will get done. Sometimes, you just gotta step off the merry-go-round. Yesterday was my day. :)
November 10, 2009~ 8:00pm
Well, after already being one day behind the eight ball with my sleeping in yesterday, I got to work to discover that the 'power mishap' which brought down a telephone pole on our lot over the weekend- and which started a fire, and left our one banked hillside scorched.... the 'mishap' was caused by a RED-TAILED HAWK
(magificent birds...HUGE) flying into our telephone lines that lead to the building. (Rest in peace, fella'. Poor thing....but they do terrify and prey on our squirrels, and that pisses me off) but such is nature, right?
Well wouldn't you know it, the one COMPUTER that got FRIED in the mishap belonged to yours truly.
I spent my day on the slowest Old Nellie in the building...much of the time just staring at a twirling hourglass. LOL... just my luck! I'm getting a new one, the insurance will take care if it....but gees...I liked my OLD, lightning fast box! Sheesh. Oh well, Friday the new one comes, and until then it's 'giddy up' Nellie. LOL. I stopped after work to see mum. She's doing even better. Seems more alert than ever....and suggested we take a walk again. Gave me a tour of her floor... the cozy kitchen, the laundry (should you choose to throw in a load)- the visitors' room with lovely dark wooden table and chairs, games, books.......she's was quite puffed up. Nice little hour visit, but traffic was horrible. Full moon madness...Lord help us.
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