Weblog 198

November 22, 2009~ 12:00am
Another November 22nd. It's the day Kennedy's head got half blown off-- and the country was never quite the same again. That's the way I see it anyway. That was the turning point. The America of the 50's was officially over.

There's been so much ugliness since then; so much of it since 911. The world experienced such a menacing sea change at that time- and with it, the escalation of international terrorism and the scary and accelerated destabilization of the Middle East. All of it weighs so heavily on us, it's important to step out of it... out of history for a while, and look at the beauty that's still here.



Nature gives and gives. That's my boss's backyard this October. She emailed some pictures, knowing how I love her nature photography.

What gorgeous colors-- with everything aflame. Looking closely at the growing things, you find exceptional splashes of wondrous color and delicacy....



Those little purple berries take my breath away! Look closer, and you meet the world of insects and creatures that crawl. Here's a marvelous shot of a Hickory Horned Devil, crawling on her arm.



If we just look around, we see all sorts of creatures in these amazing get-ups. Give this fella time, and he'll become a 'Royal Walnut Moth' of brilliant orange-- nearly as large as a human hand. He's amazing enough in this caterpillar stage- 6 inches long and festive-looking, despite those menacing-looking 'horns'. What a world we have!

And how apropos...this Morning Glory truly is! Sunlight just streams through its center-



looking like resurrection itself, right there at the core. To truly look, to truly see the natural world is one of the simplest gifts we can give ourselves to combat the depressing or the frightening parts of life. Look around and you'll find antidotes to what ails you. They're everywhere, but you have to get beyond the television screen, the cell phone and the computer world of 'news news news', and 'junk junk junk'-- the pessimism and fear that will control you if you allow it, if you are hopelessly glued to those things.

Tonight we watched a moving documentary made by a young, female black survivor of Hurricane Katrina, made with her own camcorder and then professionally produced for syndication



and it's a frightening account of what it was like to be stuck in the 9th Ward of New Orleans, unable to get out on September 29th, 2005. It's a stunning testimony to survival, and not just survival, but the triumph of her own battered but determined spirit. She and her husband make it through, saving many others along with them. One brave soul used only a floating punching bag to paddle along and rescue neighbors. You watch a neighborhood disappear, and the battling few who make it out to form a new kind of family- with one another.

It was so chilling to hear tapes of telephone calls to the police department, begging for rescue, only to hear, "There's no one to send." "I'm in my attic, but I can't break the wood to get on the roof. Please! Send someone!"

"There are no rescues being done at this time."

"So I'm gonna die...."

Silence.

I can still just weep thinking back to that time and watching it all unfold, horrified by the paralyzed rescue efforts-- watching in disbelief and outrage.

I've never before, and hope never again to see such official indifference to human suffering. This film had to be made by someone who lived through it- at its worst- in the poorest black parish of New Orleans. This young woman's spirit is remarkable- her eyes liquid and wholly compassionate, but filled with joy.. with life........with spunk.

Her life is an inspiration: a drug-addicted mother who died of AIDS when she was 13, a rough scraping by on the streets- just she and her brother- a loving grandmother who took her in, and then died in the hurricane. What a story. What a documentary. If you want to be moved, if you want the straight dope, and if you can stand it- rent this film.




November 23, 2009~ 9:00pm
It's COMING.....DEAD BIRD DAY! The day we stuff our faces and watch endless football. Crowd together on folding chairs and card tables covered with plastic tablecloths, and salivate-- then eat ENORMOUS amounts of tryptophan, wanting to nod off in some far corner, sated and happy. LOL!!!



(That little Nut Man looks like a southwestern Native American kachina doll, doesn't it? So CUTE!) My Thanksgiving is going to be provided by my daughter (once again....bless you, Holly) and surrounded by grandkids. There are now officically too many people to all gather in one household, so visiting Mum will take place the day after or the day after that, not sure yet. Mum will share the meal at my nephew's house with my sister and her large brood. (Everything is up in the air with these huge holiday gatherings. People coming and going, people making plans and changing them....) so I'll be in flux, except for the actual meal- and I know where I'll be then: belly-up to the table, and asking to please pass the gravy. YUM!

Tomorrow I visit Mum again after work. I stayed for dinner last Thursday, when the 'faux Thanksgiving' meal was being prepared and served for a 'select segment' of the residents. That set off a whole host of smarting feelings, let me tell you! At least at our table- we were in the regular dining room, not the Country Kitchen with the chosen. It didn't bother Mum or me one bit, but some of the other ladies were mighty put out by it. Even the chaplain stopping by, dressed- yes....as a 6 ft. turkey... did not smooth those ruffled feathers.

It seems no matter how old folks are, there remains in human interaction, the awareness of being singled out or being ignored. In fact, I think in closed enviroments like the Assisted Living home, it's more accentuated. People get touchy as hell- except for Mum, God love her, who merely clucks her tongue and waves people away with her characteristic gesture of dismissal. (Translation: "GET OUTTA HERE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? THAT'S DUMB. DON'T BE A GOOF!") LOL. I love that about her. :)




November 25, 2009~ 7:30pm
The eve before the feast. Glad this day is in.....traffic was snarled, tempers were frayed, there was TOO MUCH noise, too much chatter at work --(it's the 'pre-holiday' syndrome....lol) ---and I had TOO DAMN MUCH work left, piled like a tower on my desk due to the computer mishap last week. That set me back about 3 complete days....(and I didn't even have the pleasure of being off for that to happen.) Life, huh?

It's hard to believe that it's almost a month since Mum went to assisted living. Even she was snarly today. "What did you do today?" I asked, as I sat stuck in traffic at the usual time I call her, so I used my cellphone. "Nuthin."

LOL!!! I think the bloom is off the rose a little bit. Something new has become something regular....and let's face it, pretty much unchanging for her. On days when there's not a visit or something special going on, I imagine it gets pretty boring-- or seems loooooooooong for her. (Plus... poor Frances' traipsing into her room every 15 minutes or so to ask, "Is it time for mass? Are you going? Can I walk down with you?" - meaning: dinner....or lunch.....or breakfast. Never 'mass'.)

Mum gets pretty aggravated (she reminds me of the way she used to be with us when we were little. LOL!! - very firm, stern... but concerned.)

"It's NOT MASS, Frances. And it's NOT TIME YET to go down and eat!"

The one thing I did accomplish today was getting out the current- and LAST issue of The Blue House. After 47 issues, 8 years, I'm simply burned out. If you'd care to have a look



it's a fine final edition, I think. All those poets have become friends over the years. You can see their names in lots of places on the internet, so I know there'll be plenty of venues for their talents.

Life is a series of doors opening and doors closing. Houses being built and houses being torn down. It's moving, people.... all the while we think we're standing still. Catch all the scenery you can........and Happy Thanksgiving...from this grandmother's house to yours.





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