Weblog 237
August 22, 2010~ 12:00 am
(Although it says 'Sunday' and midnight... of course it is not. LOL!! I have become such an old fogey, midnight on Saturdays are now beyond my reach) -therefore, it is yet my birthday. My 59th. I am officially....
an OLD BAT! (Albeit, a happy one.) It's nice to have a birthday on the weekend when you're a working person. Makes it more relaxing, for sure. Yesterday at work the gals sang, and baked me a homemade pound cake, flavored with almond, topped with buttercream icing. It was FABULOUS! Holly (who is camping with the family) called me on my cellphone to wish me many happy returns, and Matt, who's in Georgia right now, taking classes until the end of October, sent a nice long chatty email to let me know he hadn't forgotten. I'd say the BIRTHDAY JAR
was officially opened- the candle lit. Wayne treated me to a crabcake dinner at our favorite restaurant, and gave me two books, two CD's to play in the car, and Carol's Fudge, from Station Square. I've had a very pleasant day. Not too much fuss... just enough. Even the mailbox brought a great surprise! My friend Annette sent the loveliest card and an airmail parcel which held a WIND-UP NUNZILLA! LOL!!! Sparks fly out of her mouth as she slowly, menacingly walks toward you, ruler in her hand, crucifix on her evil chest....ah....memories. Annette and I spent 12 full years in parochial school together. Such things glue people together. It's like surviving the Titanic. Evermore, you are more than close, you're bonded.
I did find an interesting link while surfing the net this morning. Did you know there are 32 places in the United States alone that are called Berlin? It's true. And there's a website to celebrate that...."Ich bin ein Berliner"......remember that? Remember Kennedy standing at a podium, the surrounding area a sea of folks, proclaiming that we're all from Berlin......that divided, torn place of conflict, longing to be reunited...longing for wholeness.
(I see Berlin itself as a metaphor- always have.) Well, there are apparently LOTS of folks of Germanic descent who settled in places they wanted to name 'Berlin'. Go toPostcards From Berlin to have a peek. (Apparently the webmaster is from Berlin, Maryland. That link has 28 pictures. Most have yet to post a scene from their own, private Berlin.) That whole idea of naming a place after a 'parent' place of the same name got me thinking. You find that all over the U.S., which is a nation of immigrants, after all. (Just like 'New York' was obviously named after York in Great Britain, and the list goes on and on.)
Up until about 12 years ago, my house was located on the trolleyline at a stop (which is no longer there) called 'Paris'. LOL!!! That always made me laugh. Made me laugh when I had to say it, back when I rode the Castle Shannon line into work. "Paris, please!" I could never figure that one out.......I mean
there is NOTHING remotely Parisian about this area, but somehow the stop ended up with that name. (That pink doodle is from my doodle blog site. I called that one 'Terribly French') .... and it is! (Both 'terrible' and 'French'.)
Ah! ... a word about my back.
It no longer hurts! After over a week of nearly constant discomfort, I believe the sacroiliac belt worn day and night did the trick. (As explained to me by a co-worker, something, possibly stretching a ligament in that area a bit too far, caused inflammation. The inflammation -any inflammation- is the body's way to stabilize an unstable joint. When I allowed the external brace to do the stabilizing work, the inflammation disappeared, and voila!- the pain with it.) At least I know what to do now if it happens in the future. Wear the belt, apply heat, take an anti-inflammatory drug till it calms down again. Nice to have a plan, because such things tend to recur.
One other thing that's been in the foreground this week is someone close to me who's been engaging in some very very unhealthy and irresponsible things for the past year. Maybe longer. (It doesn't matter specifically what they are...suffice it to say it involves an unsupportable lifestyle that will eventually do nothing but cause great personal harm) -and it's not an immediate family member, but I feel so helpless when these things happen around me.
And angry. And depressed. I mean, a person intentionally puts themself into a ridiculously hand-crafted, WRONG PLACE
(and just like that cutie in the weird watermelon pants) they're immobilized by what they've created around them. It's impossible to move in that kind of situation, because they are STUCK. (Here's hoping they pull themself out of it.) It can only be done by the person living it.... help is not on the way.
Grown-ups are grown-ups, and no matter the how you slice it, the ball is in one court only. 'Nuff said. Tuff love.
Stepping back. Disengaging.
We save our own asses. It's nobody else's job.
(And yes, it's only 8 o'clock in the evening, and me, pretending it's midnight.)
I'm heading up to bed.
Bed..... and a book. Sweet dreams, all. :)
August 22, 2010~ 9:15 am
I found something that swept me away. Sculture as awe-inspiring as possible......the IM-possible HYPER-REALISM of Ron Mueck.
I'd seen samples of his work before, but none as comprehensive and gripping as found on DamnCoolPics art blog. Man!! What a show! (Lots of other great things in that blog as well.) Halleluiah. I love finds like this....they make my day.
August 22, 2010~ 9:45 am
I find happiness in others quite pleasing, but DEMENTED LEVELS OF HAPPINESS
August 22, 2010~ 8:00 pm
I had a lovely visit with mum today. Dinner was delicious, and while I'm always grousing that she wants to go down to the dining hall too early, and we just end up standing and sitting around, collecting other residents in a cramped area outside the closed eating area doors, tonight she suggested we go outside to wait. After asking her each time if she'd like to get on the glider swing with me
today she did! I can't tell you how long it's been since I sat in one of those things, but it's the most relaxing thing in the world, talking and gently pumping the thing back and forth with the legs. The early evening breeze was just right, the gardens still pretty, the leaves just starting to turn into splendor...... and very very peaceful. I really enjoyed it. It even made the meal taste better.
I asked mum if her knees felt better with a little exercize. She said, "Ehh! Hell no." LOL!!! That's my mum. (Who I was amazed to find out did not remember that folks couldn't smoke in restaurants in Pennsylvania. LOL!!!) "You're kidding!"- she said. That... after complaining about it the last year before she went into assisted living. Wow... her world has BECOME that place. It's like nothing happened before, and nothing exists outside of it. At least...... not for more than a few minutes, right after you first tell her something. After that....POOF! It's gone. But I guess that's what it is to be 90..."brain shrink" ...BIG time.
August 24, 2010~ 7:15 pm
After 29 1/2 hours of not-smoking trying to go cold turkey (the longest I'd gone since I was in my 20's) I came home from seeing my mother and frantically began searching where I'd already searched yesterday...... and FOUND the little paper tubes with the filters that were buried in my kitchen closet. The temptation was too much. I rolled and smoked 3 in a row. (I still had a bag of Bugler in my freezer from past 'emergencies' when I'd run out.) God.......
I am such a failure. I haven't given up...... but it's sure put a dent in my resolve. I think I can still do this, but not as cleanly as I'd hoped. Going up to bed now. Head bowed.
***
(Return To Weekly Archives)
(Although it says 'Sunday' and midnight... of course it is not. LOL!! I have become such an old fogey, midnight on Saturdays are now beyond my reach) -therefore, it is yet my birthday. My 59th. I am officially....
an OLD BAT! (Albeit, a happy one.) It's nice to have a birthday on the weekend when you're a working person. Makes it more relaxing, for sure. Yesterday at work the gals sang, and baked me a homemade pound cake, flavored with almond, topped with buttercream icing. It was FABULOUS! Holly (who is camping with the family) called me on my cellphone to wish me many happy returns, and Matt, who's in Georgia right now, taking classes until the end of October, sent a nice long chatty email to let me know he hadn't forgotten. I'd say the BIRTHDAY JAR
was officially opened- the candle lit. Wayne treated me to a crabcake dinner at our favorite restaurant, and gave me two books, two CD's to play in the car, and Carol's Fudge, from Station Square. I've had a very pleasant day. Not too much fuss... just enough. Even the mailbox brought a great surprise! My friend Annette sent the loveliest card and an airmail parcel which held a WIND-UP NUNZILLA! LOL!!! Sparks fly out of her mouth as she slowly, menacingly walks toward you, ruler in her hand, crucifix on her evil chest....ah....memories. Annette and I spent 12 full years in parochial school together. Such things glue people together. It's like surviving the Titanic. Evermore, you are more than close, you're bonded.
I did find an interesting link while surfing the net this morning. Did you know there are 32 places in the United States alone that are called Berlin? It's true. And there's a website to celebrate that...."Ich bin ein Berliner"......remember that? Remember Kennedy standing at a podium, the surrounding area a sea of folks, proclaiming that we're all from Berlin......that divided, torn place of conflict, longing to be reunited...longing for wholeness.
(I see Berlin itself as a metaphor- always have.) Well, there are apparently LOTS of folks of Germanic descent who settled in places they wanted to name 'Berlin'. Go toPostcards From Berlin to have a peek. (Apparently the webmaster is from Berlin, Maryland. That link has 28 pictures. Most have yet to post a scene from their own, private Berlin.) That whole idea of naming a place after a 'parent' place of the same name got me thinking. You find that all over the U.S., which is a nation of immigrants, after all. (Just like 'New York' was obviously named after York in Great Britain, and the list goes on and on.)
Up until about 12 years ago, my house was located on the trolleyline at a stop (which is no longer there) called 'Paris'. LOL!!! That always made me laugh. Made me laugh when I had to say it, back when I rode the Castle Shannon line into work. "Paris, please!" I could never figure that one out.......I mean
there is NOTHING remotely Parisian about this area, but somehow the stop ended up with that name. (That pink doodle is from my doodle blog site. I called that one 'Terribly French') .... and it is! (Both 'terrible' and 'French'.)
Ah! ... a word about my back.
It no longer hurts! After over a week of nearly constant discomfort, I believe the sacroiliac belt worn day and night did the trick. (As explained to me by a co-worker, something, possibly stretching a ligament in that area a bit too far, caused inflammation. The inflammation -any inflammation- is the body's way to stabilize an unstable joint. When I allowed the external brace to do the stabilizing work, the inflammation disappeared, and voila!- the pain with it.) At least I know what to do now if it happens in the future. Wear the belt, apply heat, take an anti-inflammatory drug till it calms down again. Nice to have a plan, because such things tend to recur.
One other thing that's been in the foreground this week is someone close to me who's been engaging in some very very unhealthy and irresponsible things for the past year. Maybe longer. (It doesn't matter specifically what they are...suffice it to say it involves an unsupportable lifestyle that will eventually do nothing but cause great personal harm) -and it's not an immediate family member, but I feel so helpless when these things happen around me.
And angry. And depressed. I mean, a person intentionally puts themself into a ridiculously hand-crafted, WRONG PLACE
(and just like that cutie in the weird watermelon pants) they're immobilized by what they've created around them. It's impossible to move in that kind of situation, because they are STUCK. (Here's hoping they pull themself out of it.) It can only be done by the person living it.... help is not on the way.
Grown-ups are grown-ups, and no matter the how you slice it, the ball is in one court only. 'Nuff said. Tuff love.
Stepping back. Disengaging.
(And yes, it's only 8 o'clock in the evening, and me, pretending it's midnight.)
I'm heading up to bed.
Bed..... and a book. Sweet dreams, all. :)
August 22, 2010~ 9:15 am
I found something that swept me away. Sculture as awe-inspiring as possible......the IM-possible HYPER-REALISM of Ron Mueck.
I'd seen samples of his work before, but none as comprehensive and gripping as found on DamnCoolPics art blog. Man!! What a show! (Lots of other great things in that blog as well.) Halleluiah. I love finds like this....they make my day.
August 22, 2010~ 9:45 am
I find happiness in others quite pleasing, but DEMENTED LEVELS OF HAPPINESS
August 22, 2010~ 8:00 pm
I had a lovely visit with mum today. Dinner was delicious, and while I'm always grousing that she wants to go down to the dining hall too early, and we just end up standing and sitting around, collecting other residents in a cramped area outside the closed eating area doors, tonight she suggested we go outside to wait. After asking her each time if she'd like to get on the glider swing with me
today she did! I can't tell you how long it's been since I sat in one of those things, but it's the most relaxing thing in the world, talking and gently pumping the thing back and forth with the legs. The early evening breeze was just right, the gardens still pretty, the leaves just starting to turn into splendor...... and very very peaceful. I really enjoyed it. It even made the meal taste better.
I asked mum if her knees felt better with a little exercize. She said, "Ehh! Hell no." LOL!!! That's my mum. (Who I was amazed to find out did not remember that folks couldn't smoke in restaurants in Pennsylvania. LOL!!!) "You're kidding!"- she said. That... after complaining about it the last year before she went into assisted living. Wow... her world has BECOME that place. It's like nothing happened before, and nothing exists outside of it. At least...... not for more than a few minutes, right after you first tell her something. After that....POOF! It's gone. But I guess that's what it is to be 90..."brain shrink" ...BIG time.
August 24, 2010~ 7:15 pm
After 29 1/2 hours of not-smoking trying to go cold turkey (the longest I'd gone since I was in my 20's) I came home from seeing my mother and frantically began searching where I'd already searched yesterday...... and FOUND the little paper tubes with the filters that were buried in my kitchen closet. The temptation was too much. I rolled and smoked 3 in a row. (I still had a bag of Bugler in my freezer from past 'emergencies' when I'd run out.) God.......
I am such a failure. I haven't given up...... but it's sure put a dent in my resolve. I think I can still do this, but not as cleanly as I'd hoped. Going up to bed now. Head bowed.
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