Weblog 288
August 21, 2011~ 12:00 am
It's official. As of midnight, I am most certainly
My 60th birthday has arrived. (There is no way I can consider myself 'middle-aged' at this point. Nope. This lady is OLD.) I've been in such a weird frame of mind recently... sort of numbed. Not even an appetite to speak of, except for specific cravings now and then, either for salty foods or sweet. Alas, my birthday dinner (at the Asian restaurant I chose) held no appeal for me. My favorite dish, the shrimp fried rice, featured shrimp that tasted like IODINE this time. (What the heck is that, anyway? You know what I mean?) I've noticed that 'medicinal' taste at other times in shrimp dishes, but never at my favorite place...... until Saturday. (I think the meal has jinxed me. It's a bad sign now that I've eaten iodine shrimp in one of the few places where we eat out.) The world of pleasures shrinks more and more by the day.
I did receive some lovely gifts from Wayne. Three books- one on the 'trees of Pennsylvania', a little hand guide to recognizing the leaf shapes and such- and two about hauntings in this state as well. (A good pre-Halloween set of shivers, I'm sure. Just my cup of tea.) He bought BOTH chocolate and fudge for me...lol. (The fella knows what I like) - as well as three Gillian Welch CD's that are new to me, and wonder of wonders..... a Timex alarm clock (because the cheap-assed one I just bought when my old one pooped out has proven to be unreliable.) It pleases me to have a back up once again. I'm a 'two alarm clock' sort of person. I don't trust just the one.
The movie I chose from Netflix was not a big help in feeling 'chipper'.... I picked
You want to feel sad? Watch that film. LOL!!! Riveting performances, it's a raw and emotionally ragged chronicle about a marriage going south very quickly, with flashbacks of how the couple got together in the first place. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams are devastatingly good in their roles, but if I had to give a thumbnail synopsis of the film, I'd say, "angry young woman, skirt getting pushed up". I'm not kidding. I think there are at least four scenes where this happens.
I may be in the minority but the scene most painful to watch was of William's parents at the dinner table, in a marriage LONG dead and full of rage. A short, but VERY effective glimpse into what the young woman's homelife was like growing up. A short scene, but it clapped like thunder.
Some days, you feel overwhelmed with the sad stuff. On Friday afternoon, we had a horrible flash flood here in Pittsburgh and four people drowned in their vehicles. It's something that's stuck with me... it's the route I used to drive home every day from work for 10 years, then switched routes two years ago. I remember that very stretch of road, and the ponding that would occur with every hard rain. I think how easily that could have been me. The flooding occurred at the time I would have been driving through there... I can't stop thinking about it.
When I heard it was a mother and her two children- but they hadn't released the names yet, I kept praying that Holly and the kids were safe and sound. It happened by the zoo, and I know she takes the kids there now and then.
Perhaps this is what it's like to age... to have one's fears magnified. I'm usually pretty upbeat, so my recent tendency to 'think the worst' is a new thing, and I don't like it. I'm not a worrier by nature... it knocks the hell out of me. On that same day, my conversation with my mum when I first got in the door after work and the storm had just hit, was solely about her bowel problems. She had nothing else to talk about, so wrapped up was she in fretting about being 'backed up' and how nothing was helping, and what should she do, and on and on. I hung up with visions of impactions and pain and every sort of 'what if' that was possible on the subject. Normally, I would just fling that right off after a couple minutes, but the fear continued.
Anyway...... that's my current mood. Uneasy. LOL!! Happy Birthday to me.... now blow out the candles and get to bed. Tomorrow is another day. HUZZAH!
August 23, 2011~ 6:15 pm
Ok.... I've moped long enough. LOL!!! (Besides, with all the warmth and love and surprises strewn on my path, a body just can't stay down for long.) On Sunday, on my birthday, when I opened the back door to leave and go visit mum, there was a package stuck between the screendoor and the main door. It was a homemade GIFT dropped there by my daughter (sometime in the wee hours of the morning) like a tiny elf brought it. Inside was one of her lovely handmade 'CUBES' in a box nestled in tissue. On a small note card, she'd written: "FALL CALMING CUBE" -(she knows how I await those turning leaves and pumpkins every year.) I was delighted!
And the two little chubby birds, sitting on a mossy blanket as well! It cheered me greatly.
There's a diagonal view with a nice shot of the plump orange pumpkin. Nice picket fence for some black cats to scamper across as well. I can almost feel the 'zing!' in the air.... that magic I feel each year beginning in September.
Yesterday there was yet another birthday card in my mailbox from the buddy of my longest friendship.... NETTO! She sent a card so lovely I'm gonna frame it. Reminds me of our closeness and our happy times growing up together. Almost sisters.
With my whitish-wheat-colored hair, I'm the fair one, she's the brunette. LOL!! Still two kids at heart... with long, looooooong memories.
Both things were unexpected, and both BOOSTED me UP again. Thanks, guys. You unraveled a snarled, knotted mood and smoothed things out for me.
And... we had an EARTHQUAKE in Pittsburgh today! 5.9 on the Richter scale. Epicenter in Virginia, but felt from Maine down into the Carolinas. Amazing. I thought somebody was shaking my chair on its wheels at work. I whipped around to see who it was, and the shaking started again. I whipped around, ready to catch whomever was teasing me, when the boss came flying up the hall...."THAT WAS AN EARTHQUAKE!" (Man o man..... flash floods one week, an earthquake the next...... if locusts arrive or the rivers turn to blood, I'm stayin' home). Maybe the Mayans were right. Maybe this is the rumblings of 2012. Ya never know.
***
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It's official. As of midnight, I am most certainly
My 60th birthday has arrived. (There is no way I can consider myself 'middle-aged' at this point. Nope. This lady is OLD.) I've been in such a weird frame of mind recently... sort of numbed. Not even an appetite to speak of, except for specific cravings now and then, either for salty foods or sweet. Alas, my birthday dinner (at the Asian restaurant I chose) held no appeal for me. My favorite dish, the shrimp fried rice, featured shrimp that tasted like IODINE this time. (What the heck is that, anyway? You know what I mean?) I've noticed that 'medicinal' taste at other times in shrimp dishes, but never at my favorite place...... until Saturday. (I think the meal has jinxed me. It's a bad sign now that I've eaten iodine shrimp in one of the few places where we eat out.) The world of pleasures shrinks more and more by the day.
I did receive some lovely gifts from Wayne. Three books- one on the 'trees of Pennsylvania', a little hand guide to recognizing the leaf shapes and such- and two about hauntings in this state as well. (A good pre-Halloween set of shivers, I'm sure. Just my cup of tea.) He bought BOTH chocolate and fudge for me...lol. (The fella knows what I like) - as well as three Gillian Welch CD's that are new to me, and wonder of wonders..... a Timex alarm clock (because the cheap-assed one I just bought when my old one pooped out has proven to be unreliable.) It pleases me to have a back up once again. I'm a 'two alarm clock' sort of person. I don't trust just the one.
The movie I chose from Netflix was not a big help in feeling 'chipper'.... I picked
You want to feel sad? Watch that film. LOL!!! Riveting performances, it's a raw and emotionally ragged chronicle about a marriage going south very quickly, with flashbacks of how the couple got together in the first place. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams are devastatingly good in their roles, but if I had to give a thumbnail synopsis of the film, I'd say, "angry young woman, skirt getting pushed up". I'm not kidding. I think there are at least four scenes where this happens.
I may be in the minority but the scene most painful to watch was of William's parents at the dinner table, in a marriage LONG dead and full of rage. A short, but VERY effective glimpse into what the young woman's homelife was like growing up. A short scene, but it clapped like thunder.
Some days, you feel overwhelmed with the sad stuff. On Friday afternoon, we had a horrible flash flood here in Pittsburgh and four people drowned in their vehicles. It's something that's stuck with me... it's the route I used to drive home every day from work for 10 years, then switched routes two years ago. I remember that very stretch of road, and the ponding that would occur with every hard rain. I think how easily that could have been me. The flooding occurred at the time I would have been driving through there... I can't stop thinking about it.
When I heard it was a mother and her two children- but they hadn't released the names yet, I kept praying that Holly and the kids were safe and sound. It happened by the zoo, and I know she takes the kids there now and then.
Perhaps this is what it's like to age... to have one's fears magnified. I'm usually pretty upbeat, so my recent tendency to 'think the worst' is a new thing, and I don't like it. I'm not a worrier by nature... it knocks the hell out of me. On that same day, my conversation with my mum when I first got in the door after work and the storm had just hit, was solely about her bowel problems. She had nothing else to talk about, so wrapped up was she in fretting about being 'backed up' and how nothing was helping, and what should she do, and on and on. I hung up with visions of impactions and pain and every sort of 'what if' that was possible on the subject. Normally, I would just fling that right off after a couple minutes, but the fear continued.
Anyway...... that's my current mood. Uneasy. LOL!! Happy Birthday to me.... now blow out the candles and get to bed. Tomorrow is another day. HUZZAH!
August 23, 2011~ 6:15 pm
Ok.... I've moped long enough. LOL!!! (Besides, with all the warmth and love and surprises strewn on my path, a body just can't stay down for long.) On Sunday, on my birthday, when I opened the back door to leave and go visit mum, there was a package stuck between the screendoor and the main door. It was a homemade GIFT dropped there by my daughter (sometime in the wee hours of the morning) like a tiny elf brought it. Inside was one of her lovely handmade 'CUBES' in a box nestled in tissue. On a small note card, she'd written: "FALL CALMING CUBE" -(she knows how I await those turning leaves and pumpkins every year.) I was delighted!
And the two little chubby birds, sitting on a mossy blanket as well! It cheered me greatly.
There's a diagonal view with a nice shot of the plump orange pumpkin. Nice picket fence for some black cats to scamper across as well. I can almost feel the 'zing!' in the air.... that magic I feel each year beginning in September.
Yesterday there was yet another birthday card in my mailbox from the buddy of my longest friendship.... NETTO! She sent a card so lovely I'm gonna frame it. Reminds me of our closeness and our happy times growing up together. Almost sisters.
With my whitish-wheat-colored hair, I'm the fair one, she's the brunette. LOL!! Still two kids at heart... with long, looooooong memories.
Both things were unexpected, and both BOOSTED me UP again. Thanks, guys. You unraveled a snarled, knotted mood and smoothed things out for me.
And... we had an EARTHQUAKE in Pittsburgh today! 5.9 on the Richter scale. Epicenter in Virginia, but felt from Maine down into the Carolinas. Amazing. I thought somebody was shaking my chair on its wheels at work. I whipped around to see who it was, and the shaking started again. I whipped around, ready to catch whomever was teasing me, when the boss came flying up the hall...."THAT WAS AN EARTHQUAKE!" (Man o man..... flash floods one week, an earthquake the next...... if locusts arrive or the rivers turn to blood, I'm stayin' home). Maybe the Mayans were right. Maybe this is the rumblings of 2012. Ya never know.
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